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Friday, March 18, 2016

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As a child of divorce, a divorcee, and a practicing high profile divorce attorney, the word "divorce" has been in my vocabulary all my life. But why should it be a word that so many people see as negative? I think it's time we don't frown on divorce anymore, particularly when there are more than 25 million divorced people in the United States. Furthermore, the numbers of people getting divorced in the United States keep going up. That's why we need to embrace the word divorce, and people who are divorced, and allow them to be comfortable to end a marriage with dignity, and look forward to a new beginning rather than make the issue a stigma. It's simply a fact of everyday life, and every divorcee should wear their divorce as a badge of courage. Courage for stopping the end of unhappiness and looking to fulfillment in the future.

We only need to look at numbers the U.S. Census Bureau puts out. The pace of divorce is rapid. There is 1 divorce every 13 seconds; 277 per hour; 6,646 per day; 46,523 per week; and over 2.4 million per year. That's roughly 1 in every 5 adults. The chances are that you're reading this as someone who's divorced. Well, join the club! The Divorce club that is.

When I was hosting my show "Untying the Knot" on Bravo, I realized that rather than feel sad about the past and broken hearts and promises along the way, we should look ahead at the positive changes that are out there, and the chance for a new beginning. A happier ending. After all, don't we all believe in the fairytale. I believe there is so much to learn after a marriage ends from your relationship about yourself in order to be the best in your next relationship.

But I haven't always lived a fairytale life. Divorce has been part of my life from my childhood, to my adulthood. Divorce is hard, and emotional. But we can over come it and once we do there are so many great possibilities out there. Everywhere I look these days, people are talking about the success of online dating. In a society where we seem to have less and less time our hands for making plans to be social, social media is the tool that's helping us get social. Online dating is the way to go. So that got me thinking.

As a recent newly wed [and new mother to an 8 month old daughter], I have been counting my blessings recently. It was because of being tired of dating and seeing my clients that I decided to come up with one of the first online dating apps for divorcees. Up until now there wasn't an app just for people like me - or perhaps someone like you. The Divorce Dating app provides a platform of understanding, unique sensitivities and perspectives that those who have been married before, with similar stories and divorce experiences lending to a better dating experience.

I built it from own experiences on a personal and professional level. I didn't want to look at dating post divorce as a challenge. I wanted to find a viable solution. So I used my experience as a divorce attorney and my understanding of why marriages don't always work out, to pose questions on the app to hopefully find "Mr or Miss Right." Questions range from the more serious "Why did you divorce? What has divorce taught you?," To the lighthearted "What movie best describes your divorce?" And guess what? Just because our friends sometimes know us better than we know ourselves, there's an option that three of your friends can approve your date, and evaluate matches.

Perhaps that's how some recent high profile divorcees met their matches. Think Mariah Carey and one of the richest men in Australia, her new fiancée Jamie Packer? It's the third marriage for Mariah, and the second marriage for him. Or what about Jerry Hall and Rupert Murdoch? Mick Jagger was Jerry's first husband, and she's Rupert Murdoch's fourth wife. As I said, being divorced and dating, really never looked this good.

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