It was a beautiful wedding service in a beautiful cathedral. The couple said all the right things at the right time, the minister too and, lo and behold, magically the singles turned into a couple. In an unusual Gospel lesson, the couple chose the section from Romans about Jesus walking on water. An interesting selection. In the homily, the minister used the imagery to talk about the challenges of marriage with verdant metaphors about being in the same boat, calm and stormy waters, and having their families in the boat to help through tough times. Perfect images.
But as the echoes of the lessons faded, the analogy didn't. My mind wondered about other possible analogies besides just staying afloat. What if the boat began to leak with arguments? Would it just sink? Or a mother-in-law decided to rock it? Or perhaps when it was tied up at the dock and full of rainwater. Would one person just bail out? Or what if one person decided to go for a swim in an affair? What if one of the oars broke and someone got laid off; do they just go in circles? It seemed the possibilities could keep the symbolism flowing indefinitely.
Whenever I write a post, in the background is always the intention to create images and illusions that invite the reader to think a bit differently. To jar your thinking and perhaps, on a good day, discover your own "Aha" moment through my stories. Sometimes I seem to be pretty successful. And other times ... eh. And it is always a bit of work to make things flow. Which is the thought I came away with about marriage--it takes work to keep it alive and afloat. Those of us that have been divorced are well aware of the challenges. Sadly, there isn't much poetic in many of them.
Being and staying together with another human being in the long term is not easy. It consistently requires both partners to put aside their needs for the other. To put them first--at least some of the time. It takes unconditional acceptance, a short memory, and ongoing forgiveness. It is about feeling joy and happiness when you're with them, and sadness when you're not. I could go on Hallmark ad nauseam, but we all know it takes a lot. And then again, sometimes it doesn't. On this joyful wedding day, it was just about two people being together, publicly declaring their love, and being in the moment.
I do believe in the power of love. In the power of loving yourself, in the selfless power of loving someone else, and in the power of loving life. If you are able to accept love in your heart you will find it overflowing and ample opportunities to share it. Love can conquer all and if you're willing to let yourself live in love's embrace, you won't have to think about boats.
As I watched the couple in their millionth kiss of the day, I wished them love, faith, and grace. If they can stay true to these ideals every day, their marriage will never be a moment of work. Well, maybe a tiny bit of work, but it will still be smooth sailing!
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